Just a sidenote: The friendzone doesn’t exist. It’s just an excuse you tell yourself to make up for the fact that someone doesn’t like you.

Also, if you’re consistently getting ‘friendzoned’ the problem lies in you and maybe you should change something about yourself to fix that. No I’m not saying that you’re a bad person, you just need to touch yourself up a bit. Get more confident, dress better, work out, have hobbies, be who you want to date.

Don’t use another person opening up to you as validation of yourself as a person.

First off, I will admit it is nice when people open up to you and it can affirm qualities that you have within yourself that you did or did not know. But using this as a measure of self worth is an incredibly stupid thing to do. Your worth should not be defined by an individual that latches onto the part of you that can listen, that can console and empathise.

I know that I’ve been told that I’m an easy person to talk to, I’m highly empathetic and I’m a great listener but as much as it is a nice thing to have, it’s simultaneously one of the worst things to have. The reason why it’s one of the worst things to have is because listening and caring takes a lot of fucking effort. It is also incredibly draining and as much as it is rewarding, I can only do so much of it. For a while I based myself around it and almost made it my own persona. A person who keeps caring and giving. But you realise after a while that it shouldn’t be the thing that defines you because it is draining.

It’s held in high esteem to have those qualities as a person and it’s what makes a great friend and a lover but it can also make you a gigantic pushover, people emotionally taking advantage of you and sucking up your own personal resources.

I’ve always felt good about myself for having those qualities but that’s because it’s based in other people, not in myself. When you continuously have people exploiting those integral parts of yourself (consciously or not) you realise exactly how much your self worth comes from other people. When that all dissipates you have nothing left, all your worth was placed in other people. You start to think that the only way to make yourself feel good is if people come to you for advice and spill their secrets to you because you just need that self validation. Honestly, only yourself can give you that validation and it’s only you that can make yourself happy. When you rely on other people to validate your worth, you don’t love yourself or you don’t love yourself enough.

To think that you are loved and you are cared about because someone spilled their problems to you is idiotic. It is only counterproductive because peering into the depths of someone else’s soul can damage your own. You will keep finding validation and love in other people because the truth is you don’t love yourself. I’ve learned that the hard way.

catharticheart:

It’s about time I let you go. My life needs restructuring, it needs changing. It can’t be changed while I have an IV directly attached to my veins pumping in vast amounts of morphine to distract me from my own sense of reality.

Why should I have a foot set in the muddy waters of the past when I’ve spent a lot of time on a boot that’s meant to get me out of sticky situations that money never could.

Why do I keep writing words into my arms as a reminder to myself when I don’t even read them enough to burn them into my skin? 

There isn’t any time to turn back to, but there’s time to turn into.

Death Cab for Cutie - Passenger Seat
12,387 plays

lesmusiques:

Passenger Seat — Death Cab for Cutie

I roll the window down, and then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road, and the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Jimmy Eat World - Book Of Love
2,925 plays

Are they ever coming back again? Those feelings that we started with? I’ll give it time. 

God dammit, this album is brilliant

There are some people you’ll never see again. At least, not in the same way.
I Wrote This For You, Iain S. Thomas (via avvfvl)

(Source: sahrana)

When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love  (via thatkindofwoman)

(Source: payesakinensis)

Simple is good,” he said. “I’ve lived through complicated. Complicated hurts. Simple sustains you. Complicated makes you hungry for simple.
— Amy Lane, The Winter Courtship Rituals of Fur-Bearing Critters (via midautumnrain)

(Source: quotes-shape-us)